Sunday, 27 October 2013

The Future's Not Ours To See

I have The Boy Wonder this weekend and he's as entertaining as ever. Here's an extract from the drive home on Friday night:

Me: So how's your week been, fella?

TBW: It's been really good, we went swimming at school and I got to dress up as a Roman when we went to Bosworth Battlefield*.

Me: Well it sounds like you had a pretty ace week then.

TBW: I'm having my best year ever.

Me: Wow! I didn't realise things were as good as that. Why the best year ever?

TBW: Well I'm learning interesting stuff at school and my arch-nemesis doesn't recognise me anymore**.

The Boy Wonder is 7.

I often wondered what TBW would be when he grew up. I'd hoped for something cool and well paid for him but I never figured on him being a superhero.


* - Yes, I know that The Battle of Bosworth was a civil war affair, but I guess they just had an offer on for the Roman outfits that day.

** - After further questioning it turns out that his arch-nemesis is in fact a girl who once stood on him whilst wearing roller skates, so I suspect it's less a case of not recognising him and more a case of not being interested in him. Besides, standing on someone whilst wearing roller skates is a pretty piss poor power for any self respecting super-villain. 

Tuesday, 1 October 2013


So, the training for the Nottingham Half Marathon went something like this:

Time to event: 6 months plus

  • Discuss idea with Mrs A and convince her it's a great idea.
  • Create training plan

Time to event: 3 months

  • Congratulate Mrs A on her continued steady 3-4 times a week runs.
  • Accept that original plan has been totally ignored.
  • Create new training plan based around new, shorter time to event.
Time to event: 1 month

  • Congratulate Mrs A on her continued steady 3-4 times a week runs.
  • Accept that revised plan has been totally ignored.
  • Decide to do one 10 mile run and, if that goes well, stop worrying about not having done any training. At all.
Time to event: 1 week

  • Congratulate Mrs A on her continued steady 3-4 times a week runs.
  • Accept that 10 mile run hasn't happened.
  • Think about carb-loading plan
  • Find trainers.
Time to event: 2 days

  • Go out on a works night out for a couple of colleagues who are leaving.
  • Get involved in numerous drinking games.
  • Roll home at 1:30am in the morning.
Time to event: 1 day

  • Deal with monstrous hangover.

And so, on the day of the event I stood on the startline with my beautiful wife. She was well prepared but nervous. I was horribly unprepared, untrained, non-carb-loaded, dehydrated but unrealistically optimistic. 

A few miles, a few hours and a few painful joints later a cheerful kid in combat fatigues standing just behind the finish line gave Mrs A and myself one of these each:

We also got a customary post-race bag of tat, but I ate the only things worth taking a photo of.

Was it worth the pain on the day? Absolutely.
Will we be doing it again any time soon? Not a chance.