Tuesday, 10 December 2013

Mr Adventures' Guide For The Newly Married Man

So, I have been married now for almost a whole year and feel suitably qualified now to inflict my opinion upon you, masquerading as advice for the casually interested.

This will be an occasional series, delivered when inspiration strikes me. As opposed to when Mrs Adventures strikes me. Then I'll mainly shut up.

So, on to today's gem.

Whilst laying in bed, your beautiful wife may tell you that she's going to  "look carefully at you while you're asleep."


She is just going to buy you something nice for Christmas and needs to estimate your size.

I hope.

If I haven't posted in the next week or so, please alert the authorities.


Some Bugger With A Torch

I am tired.

Work is insanely busy and my evenings consists of dismantling stuff, building stuff, swearing at stuff because it doesn't quite fit/hasn't been supplied/I've hit my thumb with a hammer AGAIN* or feeling guilty about not being fully engaged in one of the aforementioned activities (although to be honest, my level of guilt appears to be directly proportional to the level of wine left in my glass).

The length of my to do list for Shit I Don't Want To Do is getting alarmingly close to the length of my Shit I Am Desperate To Do. 

Christmas is hurtling towards me and I have yet to buy a single solitary present.

Worst of all, I've run out of decent whisky.


Work pays me good money to be stressed from time to time so I'll just suck it up. The last of the heavy lifting in the kitchen will be complete tomorrow so that will be a big chunk of my list. On the Christmas present front I'm sure I can rely on the glory that is eBay (purveyors of cheap shite to the gentry) and next year is as good a year as any to start in earnest on my Shit I Am Desperate To Do list.

Once again dear reader, in the space of a few paragraphs I find myself thinking that the glass is pretty well half full.

And if Santa thinks I've been a good boy it'll be half full of decent whisky.