Thursday, 21 July 2011

Thoroughly Recommended

Have you ever seen a middle-aged woman in a polka dot skirt trying to get on to a pushbike with a saddle clearly set way too high whilst trying to maintain her dignity on a busy main road?

As of this morning, I have.

It's hilarious, I can tell you.


Friday, 15 July 2011


Some time ago, the frankly delectable FMA and I were having one of our deep & meaningful philosophical discussions;

"If you could have been in any band, which band would it be?"

I originally went for Jamiroquai, she started with The Sex Pistols. We eventually settled on Motorhead which was, we felt, a pleasing combination of very cool to outsiders, musically credible, but an absolute hoot to be a part of.

In reality, if I had one iota of musical talent, I would be far closer to this:

Better than the JT original? Oh, I think so.


Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Who Ya Gonna Call?

The area where I live is a funny old place.

Mostly, when I mention it to people there is a raising of eyebrows and a bit of cooing. People are impressed by my postcode*, it is seen as one of the nicer areas of Leicester. I, however, find it a bit parochial and, well, very very old.

An example; There is a small row of shops and a couple of pubs on the 'main road'. A couple of years ago there was an application made to the local authorities for permission to open a chip shop (there are currently no takeaways of any description in the village). Cue much lobbying against the idea by the self appointed pillars of the community.

"It'll bring down the tone of the village!" they cried. "It will mean we will be over-run by hoodies and litter!" they wailed. I suspect that had they still got any of their own teeth left, they'd have gnashed them too.

The powers that be saw fit to turn down the application, but in the interests of compromise they agreed to allow one of the pubs to sell chips to be taken away. If you phone in advance to order them. I kid you not.

So imagine my delight when I saw this guy, smoking a fag, parked up in the village.

Yes, that does say 'paranormal investigations'. I wonder if he's worked out yet that the people in the village aren't actually dead, they're just behaving like they are?


* - This would be a much more impressive statement if I was in London. Leicester people get impressed from a much lower baseline.

Monday, 4 July 2011

Things I Have Learnt This Weekend

Yesterday I had The Boy Wonder for the day, I love the time I get to spend with him whatever we do, whatever his (or for that matter, my) mood. Time with him makes me happy beyond words, and it's quite often a learning experience too. Occasionally for him, but mainly for me.

Here's a summary of yesterday's gems of knowledge, straight from the oracle that is my son (age 5):
  • 'Batman' is a perfectly acceptable name for a cat.
  • He likes The Saturdays' new song 'Notorious', unless I sing it. That just hurts his ears and makes him feel poorly.
  • Beyonce is not a Pterodactyl. I know, I was surprised too, but if you look closely the signs are there.

A Pterodactyl

But here's my absolute favourite vignette from yesterday. He has taken to dropping the 'T' sound from words, using a glottal* stop instead. I am constantly pulling him up on it, it's become a great new game for us. He told me that T-rex was "be'er" than Diplodocus. This is the conversation that followed:

Me: "How many Ts are there in Better?"
TBW: "2"
Me: "So we say them both, don't we?"
TBW: "Better"
Me: "Thank you."
TBW: "There are 2 Ts in 'butter', aren't there?"
Me: "That's right."
TBW: "But only one T in 'but'."
Me: "You're right, that's very good!"
TBW: "There are 2 Ks in 'Dalek'."
Me: "Ah, no sunshine. There's only one K in 'Dalek'."
TBW: "Not if there's 2 Daleks."

Five years old and he already has the measure of me. Sigh.


* - Is it just me, or is it funny that 'Glottal' has two Ts in it?