Tuesday, 7 February 2012

The Big Smoke

Today I have been in London. There have been many points of interest on today's foray including:

• An elderly rocker looking like he'd just come out of a Def Leppard gig in 1987, complete with snakeskin spandex trousers and stars 'n stripes Ray-Bans. Not stars 'n stripes frames, mark you. Oh no. Stars on one lens 'n stripes on the other. He was walking very slowly and deliberately so I rather suspect they were hand painted.

• A twenty something lad wearing pink shorts and a camel coloured suit jacket. He looked young enough for it to be a fashion statement, rather than him just being fecking mental.

But my favourite scene of today was played out within 20 minutes of me getting to our capital. On the Victoria Line between Warren Street and Oxford Circus.

A middle-aged woman sits reading biology text book.She turns the page and knocks her bag off of her lap.

Bag falls to floor.
Dildo falls out of bag and rolls across carriage floor.
Woman retrieves and places back in bag.
No one says a word or smiles.

I love London, even I seem normal here.



  1. That made me laugh a LOT! Now you know why you don't live in London...

  2. My experiences with Public Transit are never as entertaining.

    I do commend you on your composure - I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to not laugh out loud. (I did when I read it, that's for sure.)

  3. Priceless...I bet she didn't even blush...

  4. CQ - Au contraire - it's moments like that when I quite fancy the idea of living in London. I don't get that kind of comedy entertainment on my commute into Leicester. Ever.

    Dlae - I had to turn away, my shoulders jiggling about like crazy as I fought not to laugh. Bet they thought I was quite odd.

    TTT - Nah, I think it was just her cheap 'out and about' one ;)

    NB - She just returned to reading her book, never missed a beat.

  5. Are you sure it was a dildo? I wonder why she had it in her bag?