Friday, 30 September 2011

The Allowed List

OK, so I know that The Allowed List (hereinafter referred to as TAL) is a pretty commonplace thing in long term relationships, I know a lot of (probably most) couples have them, but I have to be honest and say that I don't really like them.

I Just don't get the mechanics of it. I worry about the questions it throws up, the myriad of grey areas and poor original specification of what is admissible on your list.

Why is it OK to expect the person you share your life with to give you a cheery thumbs up when you rock up at home after a drunken night out, with Angelina Jolie* in tow and announce that you're just off upstairs to do the wild thing? It just wouldn't wash if it was Brenda from next-door-but-one, would it?

Is it the fame? At what point does a person become famous enough to qualify for a TAL? If Brenda decides to cycle across Guatemala to raise money for charidee and appears on page 7 of The Leicester Mercury as a result, does that count?

Is it wealth? If so is it a relative number? Could I be a reasonable candidate for an unemployed lady's TAL somewhere?

Anyhoo, the Future Mrs Adventures and I were discussing such lists this morning. She asked if Kylie was on my list I said no (although I'm sure she's a lovely person) and told her there was only one person on mine.

David Tennant.

The one and only reason I have him on my list is because he's on the FMA's and I know she wouldn't want my cast offs.

I don't think we'll ever meet him, but if we did, Dave would just have to take one for the team (so to speak), in order to safeguard our relationship. I'm sure he'll understand.


* - To be fair, I don't think it would matter if Angelina was on my allowed list or not. If she decided she was going to shag me I'd be too frightened to say no.


  1. Took me a while to work out that your TAL is the same as my List of Five. Mine consists entirely of Monica Bellucci, which seems generous to me. The Cat's Mother is not so definite about hers, which I think constitutes cheating.

  2. We call it a celebrity shag list, an no one is allowed David Tennant but me. I think he's on everyones list. As for Angelina - I wouldn't go to sleep first...

  3. Sorry but David Tennant is a bag of bones - youo'd need someone with a bit more meat on them...make mine a George Clooney!