I sometimes wonder just how far the marketing department's insidious influence will reach.
Today I learnt that even that last bastion of mundanity*, the very essence of unimaginativeness, the nadir of culinary flair that is the humble cheese sandwich will not escape their attention.
This is the packaging that contained my lunch.
I gave it a chance, I truly did. I left the thing sitting on my desk for a good ten minutes whilst I pondered how 2 slices of bread, some margarine and a sprinkling of cheese could possibly achieve the grandiose claims on the back of the pack.I can confirm:
- It was fresh. - Fresh þ
- I'm pretty sure many, many people have made a cheese sandwich before. - Innovative ý
- It didn't pretend to be a feta and olive ciabbatta. - Honest þ
- It didn't run around my desk shouting "Woohoo! I'm an excellent example of a cheese sandwich!!". It just kind of sat there. - Enthusiastic ý
- It didn't give me a tenner. - Rewarding ý
- It didn't tell me a single joke, anecdote or witty one-liner. - Fun ý
As a cheese sandwich, however, it was very nice.
* - It is a real word, it's in NDC's Big Word Dictionary. available mailorder only, £39.99.