Napoleon Dynamite.

Last night The Boy Wonder stayed over at Reality Towers. There was laughing and pizza and den building a go-go.

What follows is a classified transcript of the campaign briefing in the command centre* at Reality Towers, 19.05hrs zulu time.

++++Personnel present:++++

Commander Vert Wheeler (AKA The Boy Wonder)
Agent Bumblebee (AKA Daddy)
Corporal Doggy (AKA Doggy, a small soft toy)

++++++++

Agent Bumblebee - OK Commander Vert, what's the plan?

Commander Vert Wheeler - Well, we'll drive around in our cars and then we'll drive into a big storm and fly and then we'll find the baddies and then we'll stop them from being badddies.

AB - That sounds like a brilliant plan, Commander. How will we stop them being baddies?

CVW - Well, we'll tell them that we don't like baddies and that we'll take away their cars and that we know Doctor Who and then we'll drive into the big storm and our cars will turn into robot planes and we'll fly away from the baddy boys.

AB - Sounds foolproof commander, let's go!

CVW - Yes! And then when we've beaten the baddies we can have a nice picnic.**

Corporal Doggy - Woof.

++++SitRep ends++++Classified+++++Eyes Only+++++

I'm no military expert, but I think as campaign strategies go this one was unorthodox to say the least.

Although, and maybe this is just my middle class upbringing, I do think that perhaps more of the world's conflicts would be settled more expediently if The Geneva Convention had a clause stating that all combatants would be taken on a picnic after hostilities are concluded.

After all, who wouldn't get a wiggle on to get to sit on a tartan blanket in the sunshine eating quiche a little bit earlier?

NDC


* - OK, the "command centre" was actually a kingsize duvet and 2 towels hung over a clothes airer.
** - At this point Agent Bumblebee almost forgot his military training and collapsed into a fit of giggles.